WHY CAN'T I LEAVE THE GAME?! [It Takes A War]

It Takes a War, a game made by Thomas McKinnon and Pantaloon. Fine game. I think this is supposed to be like some story disturbing game. Please not be alarmed by the black bars on the screen. Game runs in 4 or 3. Headphones are recommended but not required.

Should I turn off my lights off? I don't know if this is scary. My username's Joe Bart. In an effort to prevent spammers, you unlock voice and text chat after completing your first match. Please say a full sentence into your mic now to ensure it's connected properly.

Hello, my name is Joe Bartolozzi. Why is this like mocking itself like it's a multiplayer lobby? This isn't a multiplayer game. Loading TDM, what? Bro, is this a multiplayer game loading TDM what? Bros, this is a multiplayer game.

What am I playing right now? Assault sniper or shotgun? I do love a sniper chat. I love some sniping gameplay waiting for players. God iron sights on a sniper. That's the biggest chug thing you could ever do.

What?

Hello?

Is the call done?

Just use this.

Oh no, this is, oh, it's me.

I'm sure everyone will love hearing all our conversations.

Does it matter? It's just two other randos.

One of them doesn't even have chat unlocked.

Yeah, it's fine.

All right, now we're just being rude buddy, it's my first game I mean you know you gotta increase player population if you want your game to stay alive. That's the gun noise? When does the match start? Five seconds? So they're just like fake talking to each other?

I'm gonna really immerse myself into this game. started. Oh my god already round one enemies remaining six. Is this FFA? I actually don't know if I should use sniper. I'm going to quick scope Yeah, oh is this like CS oh Shit, okay well Brother am I out of a fucking gun what the hell happened? What's good? I'm literally I'm fucking barrel stuffing you with a sniper I don't care if you have a bulletproof v brother. Go through. Alright, it's round one. Whatever. I just died to a bot.

You gotta be kidding me. Go shotgun. Everybody goes close range.

Alright, DK.

Bro Sid, IDK out loud bro. We don't be using that slang dude. What type of time are you trying to save dickhead? Are you coming next Saturday? IDK. TSPMO.

LMAO. Are you coming next Saturday? Ah, DK. TSPMO. LaMau.

Do you guys say any acronyms like IRL? Oh my God. I say IRL. Wow, we're just like mowing them down. They're not even trying to hurt us. I say IRL.

Oh, like, oh, would you actually do that IRL? Bro, I keep running out of fucking ammo. Reload.

Shoot it! Shoot him!

Shoot him!

Fuck!

Headshot.

Round three. At school, yeah, teachers don't understand. It's like your secret language. So are you guys going to like goon to Big Chungus later or? Wow the fucking AR is actually dog shit. Oh my god I just got murdered by that cool cookie. Wait no chat I actually wasn't asking you guys a question I was making a joke.

Okay wow why is everybody saying yeah?

Anyways.

I didn't make you lose there Brian. Why are you playing in my servers brother? You know you're great bad UK We're going back to the sniper. I'm gonna get some head shots head shots Genuinely feels like we're playing against bots. Oh shit the round started

Hello

weird addition but

screening Yo the sniper sucks! Okay, maybe I suck. Don't worry, Ron, I'll protect you. Don't worry, Ron. Don't worry, Ron. Don't worry, Ron.

Okay.

Yeah, we got him there, Brian. That was totally planned, Chad. I was purposely messing. Oh, they're zooming in on the deflated ball. Bot v. bot. I really do think the shotty's the best class.

I just threw a grenade and I don't even know how I just did that. Oh, I like him with shotguns.

Why am I hearing that like... I'm a bit bored by this game sometimes.

Bit bored, brother. This game sucks.

And the gunplay is so bad.

Nobody's making you play, to be fair.

I'm here for the company

Bro, why do like why does the last enemy have like a million health? What the fuck I just shot that guy like nine times. Oh, he's not even the last enemy

Round lost I'm alive. What do you mean? What? How did I lose the round? What's everyone's favorite type of crisps?

Oh god, I'm in UK servers bro, that's why these lobbies are fucking terrible man.

I'm a fan of snack-tastics.

What's your favorite type of crisps? Doritos. The gold ones. The only acceptable ones.

What are yours then?

HOW AM I GETTING ONE T-

Crackin' open a cold one.

Aw, let's go!

A nice cold cream soda.

No way you think these aren't pre-recorded. I just said it was single player, you stupid fuck.

I fuckin' love cream soda, I can't lie. Me and Brian are brothers in arms on that one.

Oh my god, I can spectate?

What?

Such a downer.

Elsa, she hate it too.

There's always one hiding at the end.

Wait, these aren't real people? No. You think I'm playing a real multiplayer game? Dude, we have to immerse ourselves, chat. This is a real lobby.

What else? The head explosions.

Why do I have a ball on my head? What are you doing up there? Walk.

I walk. Just talking to my friends, Mum.

Oh, God!

There'll be enough-

HOW DO THEY HAVE THAT-

What is happening? I

Mean brother I am putting I'm mad dumping

How am I supposed to win that game round eight I thought this was a six round game. What the fuck? Did anyone do anything nice yesterday? I was pissing it down. I did message asking if anyone wanted to call but...

Yeah, I did math yesterday for the first time. It was pretty hardcore.

I hated it because my wipers are broken so I had to wait for it to stop.

Oh my god, yeah, love small talk. Tell me more, dude. Oh yeah, your car wipers weren't working, man. That really sucks. Oh yeah dude, you just go shotgun, literally just barrel stuff them, do 200 fucking damage.

Jack Fox? We could also play it in person. The beauty of this friendship.

Hmm, don't know about playing in person, brother. Not a big fan of, you know, I guess IRL hanging out or human to human interaction. Not really a big fan of that. I think it would be better if we just did, you know, maybe cam night on Discord or something more chill like that. Yeah, I don't know about a LAN party Maybe if we had like dividers so we couldn't see each other and then we kind of come to each other Dude it's literally a one tap hold up

Five enemies left

Leave while you get a steam message. Sorry. Why am I getting attacked by the randall as well?

Was conquistador, I don't remember what dude how are some of my teammates two and six said leave while you still can what?

Is that Collins view How is that fair maybe the added new map events or something

Wait what looks like his death. Oh right here

You're playing stupidly we can all see it on the screen even yeah brother half my team's two and six right now The stats are like fuck you or bottom tier right right now Wow his head actually just popped off his body the boil never there's always one left We're never able to kill the last guy where the fuck is their last dude nine seconds till the round ends Should I try and explore like I don't know what I should be doing, right? I Don't remember this shit put on streamer mode I think I have streamer mode on content creator URL as well

I supposed to actually feel like you guys take games too seriously sometime

Okay, that URL is kind of fucked right it's just a game but also you don't need to like throw enough IRL, you know

Well, I'm not throwing. Yeah

So, oh my god, bro, dude, do I have to restart now because somebody told me to fucking do that I'm actually about a crash out. I'm actually about a crash out because I couldn't click off that shit I'm not playing 10 games of this again. I'm actually about to crash out because I couldn't click off that shit. I'm not playing 10 games of this again. I'm not playing Okay, no, it's around a lot of feel like you guys take games too. Seriously sometime

No, it's just if we're spending time to play them

Wait does streamer mode matters, right? I put on streamer mode.

I'm not throwing.

Yeah, yeah.

OH MY GOD!

Ignore it! Ignore it! Oh my god, hold up. Maybe I should do it in main? Oh my god, hold up. No, no, no. I need to go to main menu. I need to go to main menu. I need to go to main menu. I need to go my god, please I just want to fucking play the game. Holy shit options. Yes. I'm live-streaming. Please show the game. Yes house plant Yes a dog. Yes your friend. Yes your soul. No camera. No, no Okay

Round 11 for the 15th time. I feel like you guys take games too seriously sometimes.

No, it's just if we're spending time to play them.

If we're spending time to play them, then we're gonna take them.

Yeah, if we're spending the time to play the game, we're gonna fucking play the game, Bri. Okay? Sorry to short name you there, bud.

It's a game, but also you don't need to like, throw.

Yeah, youik's Cube. I'm not throwing. Yeah, yeah. Dude, why am I hearing squishing noises? Can I pick that knife up?

Fuck you.

Wait, we actually killed all the enemies that time. Fucking sick. What are we even playing to? Is this just infinitely going?

You just said that, Aaron.

I didn't say anything. You definitely definitely did I saw a name pop up

Wait, what did he just say I'm trying my best

Colin what? You're trying your best at what? Don't know what you mean. You just said you're trying your best.

Hey buddy, you hit the DMT cart by accident? The fuck you mean? Oh, I didn't say that shit. We're literally mid-conversation. I'm not. Hello? My name is Jerboa Tolozi.

Who's that?

I'm not sure.

I think it was Purple.

I thought they can't speak here though. Wait, can you maybe just a glitch? What the fuck?

I said my name was Gerbo Gerobo I said Joe Bartow Ozzie

The voice got it right the tax didn't Gerobo Aaron. You're the most pathetic person I've ever met. Oh, what harsh

What was?

What you just said. Stop being annoying.

Look at the sky. I didn't do anything.

Colin, you know we've never liked you, right?

Jesus. What?

I'm a bit far out.

Whose table is that?

I can't see any either, Wangstein.

You're literally solo queuing. Get some friends.

Now Aaron's being the harsh one. Is there something wrong with my connection? Literally solo queuing, get some friends.

Oh my God, I'm about to start ignoring the bots, brother. I can't handle, wait, this is actually a new area of the map. Oh no, it's not. Wait, that's somebody's fucking keyboard at the top? I'm not understanding. One of the guys keeps forgetting what we're talking about. Like he's, like he has like short term memory loss.

And now I'm rea-

I think Aaron DC'd.

Aaron DC'd?

He'll join back.

Oh he did DC.

Guys, what's going on?

Uh, you DC'd I think.

Where am I?

At the same ISU. I assume Guys can you hear me? Yes

What's going on?

Can't see

Do you think he's okay?

Was that his eyeball or something in the sky he DC'd reconnected and he didn't know where he was Like yeah, dude. Why am I getting teabagged right now still says he's Why am I alone I can't use fucking

Rod

Rod where are you? Where's the where's the rest of my team? Help me! Uh... Is this his setup? Dirty ass room, by the way.

Guys, can I join back?

Please.

Oh, my connection's did you guys see that the thing in the game the weird door stuff what was that wait is everybody back it was like it was like

something took me away dude I feel like he's just, we gotta be playing video games on drugs or something. Wait, I don't remember this room.

Have you started the sesh already, lad?

We can stop if you want. Let's go back to CS or something.

I'm trying.

I can't.

What do you mean you can't?

It's like, I want to quit, but my body won't let me.

Just all F4, you silly sausage.

What?

Well, why don't you?

Okay, I will.

I can't quit either.

I'm trying.

It's like I'm glued to my chair.

This is really freaking me out.

Wait, like we're stuck playing this game forever?

It's one of those hypnotism tricks.

What are you talking about? It's one of those hypnotism tricks

Brown things he played a video and it made lots of people watching feel like they couldn't leave their seats This is a bit stranger than that me just play to the end of the game. I'm sure it'll pass

Play to the end of the game brother. We're at round 17 What when's the game man? What are we? what is this a double OT Valorant match? Oh, all F4? Well, I wanna see where it's going. You think I should actually try to leave the game? It lets me tab out.

So I could- Hello? The fuck was that? Oh, hell no! Where's that door?

Chomp, chomp, chomp?

This is like a college dorm.

Remember to do your work. Oh my God, should I be shooting them? Oh, they're really fucking-

Just admit! Just admit! Oh! We better get in the rock! Oh! Angela! Get down here!

You little fucking shit!

What the fuck was that?

That was your room this time, El. It was a bit less real than before. What the **** was that? That soda? I do. But there were loads of empty cans of it in that bin. Are you kidding me right now, Alex? We're really tweaking about them lying about hating cream soda? Ah, fair. Who was drinking

cream soda then? They were Brian and Aaron's from the other week. We didn't have time to put them in the bin, so I just put them in my bag and then bin

them at home.

What were you guys up to? We were at the beach.

Where was my invite?

It was a bit of a spur of the moment thing. You were busy, I'm pretty sure.

Don't think so.

Can we please go to the beach?

We didn't get invited to the beach, bro. Oh, they're not really that big of friends, dude He's kind of an afterthought an only type only type of friend to play video games with but not actually hang out with We still got bigger problems than that I think we're kind of Video game guys am I able to talk to you yet? Oh, no. Sorry. I have to finish my first match Wonder when that'll be over around 83. We'll find out will be

Why he breathing like that

All right, you're breathing directly into your microphone sure sorry

There's no timer.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Yes, why do they all the chop-chop-chop?

Okay, that was pretty good

He's getting bigger every time I shoot him I Think they're starting to get brainwashed into loving this shitty ass game. We're playing round 20

It gets worse every time man

Does I wonder if the same things happening to the enemy team? Maybe you are the game. I don't think I'm the game It does feel like we're playing bots

It was wasn't it so what It does feel like we're playing bots now. So what? Are we not allowed to play games without you?

Yeah, him actually being that pressed about it's kind of crazy. Dude, you guys were five stacking League and it didn't invite me? Yeah, it was no ranked gameplay.

It didn't deliberate. But it was though.

It always is because it keeps happening.

Oh and I wonder why we do that.

What?

You're an annoying prick sometimes to be honest.

What the fuck is that on the ground?

Okay.

Why are they beefing all mad crazy like this? They're not nervous that they saw each other's fucking apartments in the game?

We were already playing when you asked and we just missed the message. that they saw each other's fucking apartments in the game? What are you saying then? Even without me messaging you still could have asked. Nothing, I'm just telling you how it actually is. I get this feeling a lot, you know?

And it hurts sometimes.

Well I'm sorry that's the case, but you feeling like that isn't our fault.

Yeah, whatever.

I feel like we're having a bro down moment right now though. They're voicing their problems, they're talking about their emotions.

I don't know how. You guys are being quite harsh. Oh, he left the game? Who gets our shit?

Oh my god, he left the game!

Believe me, if you'd spent more time with him, you'd understand. He is incredibly clingy.

I guess I can see that a bit.

I mean, you can see how his first reaction to literally everything is to assume that we did it to hurt him.

Do you think he died? That's the only way we were able to leave the game. Nah, I'm still feeling stuck.

I guess at least Colin leaving shows it's possible. That other stuff was so weird though. I guess it...records your conversations?

But that... that wasn't from the in-game chat.

Yeah, but maybe it still has access to your mic or something.

And how would it know what your room looks like?

Some weird AI webcam thing, maybe.

Where's the enemy team? They're all dead.

Where's the other team?

Probably just hiding.

I put streamer mode on. You gotta find a door? I don't think I need to find a door. I feel like the enemy team-

Is that Colin?

Where?

What the fuck on the other side of the map he's there

Dude where the fuck are they all going I was just standing there. I didn't see no Colin

They don't care. You're hurting them.

Maybe they deserve it.

They don't.

They do.

Sick of it.

And what about you, huh?

We were asked online two minutes ago.

No, I want to say this. I try to stop things getting confrontational, but here. You're annoying sometimes Colin Sorry, but you are

Yeah

Brian last online eight hours ago Ron four hours ago on so many needless things

Don't take the games we play seriously when we want to and you always assume we're out to get you Yeah, I said I get it so is it really that surprising sometimes we hang out just us three It's not that we don't like you fuck I really don't have that much of a problem with you at all, but we're allowed to do things without your permission aren't we of course?

My fault for being hurt

That's no way

So it's actually why are my actual steam friends messaging me right now? Is it taking over my account? I have no idea what the fuck is happening

When it's already too late

You're thinking so black and white

I don't know how to get out of here!

All I wanted to do is to connect with you lot. And you make it feel unsolvable and impossible to navigate where you either don't care, or don't show that you care.

Oh, outlier, please!

Either way, it makes me feel inhuman, and that's a hell of a thing to make someone feel just for trying to be your friend.

It's not as deep as that.

Have you ever considered that maybe some people just don't want to be as close to you as you do to them?

And why do I have to attack you and start arguments with you just for you to admit something like that?

WHERE AM I?!

Why do you feel like it takes a fucking war just to get you to say you don't want to be friends! Oh I'm so glad we are all friends Colin. Yes, it's great isn't it? All of us being brilliant friends. It's truly something special. Thanks guys. I love being friends with you all too. And the best part is how much we all care about each other and how we always invite you to things no matter what. And always respect you and your time. Not to mention never taking you for granted. And I to you. There's no expiration date on this friendship. We're so connected.

No way, am I gonna spawn in with them? Oh my god, are they gonna act like robots now? Wait, they're gone

Wait, why

So so still in the game Why so from the game of me she's the only It's like, it's like becoming my desktop.

What the fuck?

What the fuck? What the fuck? Round 23 again? What? Is this your place then? Well, I assume it doesn't look exactly like this, but still, very individual. How much do you know all these people? Like, really know? Oh, I think I see your monitor up ahead. It's easy to forget how everyone playing online is like, a real person. Maybe that sounds silly, obviously they are, but someone with hopes and dreams and fears and...

A room.

What does that- hold up, I'm fullscreening for this. A room they play games in. What the fuck does that say?

You never know what's happening in anyone else's. Not really.

Everyone has a gallery to be made of them, even the people who don't say a word.

Wait.

Maybe that's why people find it so much easier to be shitty over the Internet. You can even be accidentally cruel online because there's that level of disconnect there. You don't know what's going on in their room. I guess that's true of real life, too. That's the thing.

We're all individuals. Not just him.

Hold up.

I wonder if it'll work. Because I put in the link wrong. Damn it! It was supposed to show my Twitch stream there. Like right there it was supposed to show my Twitch stream. Like it would have showed me live. Because I was supposed to put in my stream.

Redo the scene. Well now you already know. So it's not as good. But I did put my Twitch there. You're spamming no? Well I put in the link wrong. I didn't put a URL.

Redo it? Okay fine. Well then I have to save and return to menu. I wonder if it would show my actual stream. Like how would it pull that footage? Wait why is it letting me actually play? Oh never mind. Yaddy everybody. Why is it epic web helper? What is epic web helper? What is epic web helper? An IP grabber? Is this game actually going to try and pull my IP?

Somebody check that before I continue playing this. I don't know. This game is really disturbing.

This game is like full taking control of my computer.

Moment of fear. See, I knew it would try to pull up my fucking Twitch stream! No way as my Twitch chat, right? No way! Yo, am I on there? What the fuck? Also, these are all wrong, dude.

It said some of the people, Zussi online seven years ago? Like, that's just not true. Or is it just because people appear offline for seven years straight? Damn, Zussi had a fucking Steam account for seven years?

Unk.

Unk. Nowk. Unk. Now looking, now I'll look at you. This is if it pulled my camera. Oh, stop. That's my fucking desktop. That's so weird.

The future. Last online 76 years ago. At least it's not six, seven. That'd be so much worse. Joe Bart. Round 24.

How is this game still going? Soph's still in the game with me. And then all the- Oh yeah, oh nevermind. I still can show you something. I don't need to see anything.

It's important.

This is my room.

It's a normal room.

It is, yeah.

Fitting, since you're like everyone else.

Ha! You don't know a thing about me.

We've hardly had a competition.

Don't I?

When it comes down to it, you were on their side.

You see that leaflet on the wall?

The theatre one?

Yeah.

I got rejected from that place. For a community play. I didn't even know you could be rejected from a community play.

What's your point?

Also, my carpet has a massive burn mark because I accidentally left the hair dryer on the floor.

Okay.

Which doesn't help with this next fun fact about me.

Oh, wait.

That pill bottle over there.

I take one of those every single day for OCD.

Might be ruining the moment, right?

I'm giving the night sweats like mad, but they do help.

Right.

And I love that band on the wall.

I hate slow walkers and I feel mixed on pears

What the fuck does this have to do with us being in a video game right now, okay, you like pears

What the fuck how do I get out of the game?

anyone

They didn't think they were hurting you as much as they did But you don't know what they have going on either.

No one knows anyone. And that's beautiful. But also terrifying.

So that makes it okay they hurt me, does it?

No it doesn't.

And I'm sorry they did that. but it's not worth fighting them over.

What do you expect me to do?

Accept that they're human beings. Accept that everyone has their reasons for acting a certain, flawed way. But that doesn't mean you have to stay friends. You said yourself that it feels like you're in a war and maybe sometimes that's what it takes. Maybe sometimes you need that. But... you can let it go now.

It hurts.

I know.

I don't know if I can. Round 27. We just keep playing. There's no way.

Round 25.

Wait, so, this, is this a story about how, like, you have to be able to detach yourself from your friends when you don't work together anymore?

I think so.

But Colin's not with us. What happened to Colin? He left. he laughed he doesn't love our friend anymore Now we just got to kill the bots and win the game

We should probably

Report it. Hey devs. we got a glitch in your game. Kind of got perma stuck, and then it gave me a whole philosophical meaning of my life. And how, you know, sometimes you separate from friends, and even if they are mean to you, they might not mean it.

Maybe.

So don't take it to heart. One enemy left. It's Colin.

Kill him.

Goodbye.

What do we do now?

Let me use VC

Shut up

Now what? Round 26 Round 26 Now's the end of the game Okay Yo, that game was good, I'm sorry I kept pausing that shit.

Tweak me out. It actually took control of my PC. Like when I when it tabbed the game out and you heard the knocking noise, my keyboard shut off. I went, oh, oh, I'm like, did I put streaming mode on right? So that's why I was like, dude,

when it was like a depiction of you and we were just going through like my Steam area, I was like, oh God, bro. Oh God. Let me double check. Weird ass fucking game.

Instant uninstalling it. Fun as shit. I did like the meaning where it was like, you know, they were arguing cause they didn't play games with each other. And then he like killed them and we were stuck in the game and it felt like he was forced to play with them. And then he finally realized in the game and it felt like he was forced to play with them. And then he finally realized he could leave. And so he finally did. It had some, it had a few meanings I liked, but